[between nothingness and dreams - staring at the dark horizon]
(...)
"It has been a while since the last time we talked. How are you? Suppose many things must have happened since then..."
"Yeah... think you can say that..." (sigh)
"You seem... sad, somehow... what's up? I was hoping to find you quite better... and you seem to be, though you still have the same glimpse of sadness in your eyes."
"It all happened as I was expecting. But things didn't happen naturally... I forced them..."
"What do you mean, you forced them?"
"A month has passed. After the fall, I tried by all means to raise myself, to convince myself that I'd be all right..."
"I don't know if that was the right thing to do... some things can't be forced, can't be pushed... they simply have to happen. We cannot expect to forget someone we love in a heartbeat... it takes time."
"I know that. I mean, I thought I knew that. I just... you see, I thought I knew that path. Everything seemed so... fucking equal, so... ironic... I just didn't wanna repeat the same mistakes once again..."
"That's not necessarly bad, you know."
"Right. But it becomes bad when, in the rush not to repeat the same mistakes, you made others..."
"That's what you did..?"
"No... Yes... (sigh) I don't know... Perhaps. I know I wasn't the only one who made mistakes, but I am responsible for my own... "
"I see. Let me ask you something: do you regret what you did?"
(silence)
"In a way... I do. Perhaps I've just reacted in a selfish way... I didn't want that to happen, really, I didn't. It was the last thing I wanted. But... I just couldn't handle it. I just couldn't see everything falling apart... I just can't..."
"But now you're not sure anymore if everything was indeed falling..."
"It was. That I am sure. It was falling. What I'm not sure is if... it could be saved or not. Anyway, I'll never know it... now it's too late for that."
"It might not be too late already. You can't be sure of that."
"And I guess I will never be... but I'd rather think that way... that it is too late... it is always too late..."
(...)
"It has been a while since the last time we talked. How are you? Suppose many things must have happened since then..."
"Yeah... think you can say that..." (sigh)
"You seem... sad, somehow... what's up? I was hoping to find you quite better... and you seem to be, though you still have the same glimpse of sadness in your eyes."
"It all happened as I was expecting. But things didn't happen naturally... I forced them..."
"What do you mean, you forced them?"
"A month has passed. After the fall, I tried by all means to raise myself, to convince myself that I'd be all right..."
"I don't know if that was the right thing to do... some things can't be forced, can't be pushed... they simply have to happen. We cannot expect to forget someone we love in a heartbeat... it takes time."
"I know that. I mean, I thought I knew that. I just... you see, I thought I knew that path. Everything seemed so... fucking equal, so... ironic... I just didn't wanna repeat the same mistakes once again..."
"That's not necessarly bad, you know."
"Right. But it becomes bad when, in the rush not to repeat the same mistakes, you made others..."
"That's what you did..?"
"No... Yes... (sigh) I don't know... Perhaps. I know I wasn't the only one who made mistakes, but I am responsible for my own... "
"I see. Let me ask you something: do you regret what you did?"
(silence)
"In a way... I do. Perhaps I've just reacted in a selfish way... I didn't want that to happen, really, I didn't. It was the last thing I wanted. But... I just couldn't handle it. I just couldn't see everything falling apart... I just can't..."
"But now you're not sure anymore if everything was indeed falling..."
"It was. That I am sure. It was falling. What I'm not sure is if... it could be saved or not. Anyway, I'll never know it... now it's too late for that."
"It might not be too late already. You can't be sure of that."
"And I guess I will never be... but I'd rather think that way... that it is too late... it is always too late..."
(...)
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